One of my favorite TV shows ever was Breaking Bad. The stereotypes and the anti-stereotypes portrayed throught this series were brilliant. Mr. White and his chemistry background, slacks and button-up shirts and glasses. Jesse with his gang-banger slang and trashy taste in cars and virtually everything else. Throughout the course of the series Jesse becomes more of a soulful individual with a desire to do right and Mr. White loses touch with reality and becomes a murderous crime kingpin. I watched the entire series on Netflix, never saw one commercial. Last time I watched regular TV was to see the Super Bowl. There were some clever commercials during that broadcast that sought to break the mold of stereotypes, namely the ones about fathers. I also loved the "Trunk Monkey" commercials. I refuse to watch commercial television because of the commercials, I don't think I have to in order to see if they are still like they used to be. Tell me, are there still commercials that portray beer drinkers as young, vivacious happy people with trim, tanned bodies and lots of friends? Are there makeup commercials that show that a little dab or two here and there will make you desirable? Are the women in most commercials slim, successful and mostly white? Are "everyday people" shown as drab, sometimes lethargic consumers who's popularity will be enhanced by buying the latest gizmo, food, drink or clothing? I have a variety of interesting friends, some have more tattoos than I would want to count, wear enough leather to slay a herd of cows and ride noisy motorcycles. They also have insurance, great jobs, don't drink or use drugs and are always helping someone. My friend Dennis is a retired Marine Drill Seargent and Vietnam Vet who loves to make brownies and birdhouses. Big Mike has a ponytail down to his ass, rides a huge loud Harley and sings loves songs to his fiance' at a sober karaoke night. I know a few sleazeball guys who drive nice cars, work out and dress fashionably but treat women like trash and will lie to your face and help you look for your shit that they just stole. My ex-girlfriend was the sweetest, kindest atheist you would ever hope to meet, fed the homeless and volunteered her time and work to helping many people. Danny is an extremely wealthy man who drives a mini-van and take care of his elderly mother at their home. Larry is a recovering drug addict and convicted felon who volunteered all winter at a homeless warming center and slept in a cot helping people who would have died from exposure. My youngest daughter has 12 tattoos and is the sweetest mother to my granddaughter you could ever know. I could go on, I think a lot of us could. I don't watch commercials because I don't want to involuntarily succumb to the sophisticated stereortyping designed to tell me that I'm not quite enough, that I'm almost there...if I only had this little extra...I'd be OK. No thanks.

    As part of this blog I chose to use a topic. The topic being my interest in Joseph Campbell's discussions on Mythology. I get distracted with other interests so haven't written much about my topic. So I will freely associate with my interest without using quotes or copy and paste from his incredible array of writings. 
I first heard about Joseph Campbell and his use of famed psychologist Carl Jung's theory of the "Archetypes" in a Humanities class I took over the summer through NIC a few years ago, we looked at architecture, art, sculpture, went on a field trip to Manito Park in Spokane and several art galleries and downtown architecture. Since it was  a summer course it was accelerated, we did not have more than one day to focus on literature and other cultural entities. In that one day our instructor lit up with his discussion about the Archetypes and Joseph Campbell, he had just returned from a sabbatical and this was the first class he taught upon his return, in his absence he had explored Campbell's teachings and became enthralled by them. I made a mental note to explore them myself when I had time. 
In subsequent classes in the next few semesters Campbell's name came up more than once, I again felt that twinge to explore his work. One day I saw a DVD biography about Campbell called "Finding Joe" advertised. I went to Amazon and ordered it. In the interim I watched a famed interview with him by Bill Moyers on you-tube. I was hooked. It was like finding a missing link. So many spiritual and philosophical questions that I had were answered with ease, many of which I didn't even know I was looking for. I loved the DVD, I ordered a book of his called "The Power of Myth" it was basically a transcript of the entire interview with Bill Moyers, made in 1987, shortly before his death. I just received 3 more of Campbell's books in the mail this week. I am looking forward to reading his entire library at some point. It just feels right, like I have found something I have been looking for my whole life. As far as what that is and what it means to me...that will be part of my next blog.

                                                    Power and Privilege

I tend to look at my own sense of privilege as being the results of hard work, intelligence and willingness. After watching the movie Crash I have been reflecting on how I have benefited from simply being a middle-aged white American male.

I know that I really have worked hard and have a reasonable semblance of intelligence to draw from. But as I met with the owner of a luxury lake home today with my business development manager in hopes of getting him to sign a contract so we can manage his home as a vacation rental I wondered how he would have reacted had I been a young black man, or a Hispanic. It probably would not have mattered my experience or intelligence, he might have only seen someone who would possibly rob him while he was away at his home in Arizona. I can only speculate, but minorities in North Idaho are very few and far between.  It seems odd that a guy like me has an innate privilege simply by my race and age. Like in the movie the main characters did not see their own prejudices and privilege as being that at all. I think we all struggle and our egos reassure us we are in the right, and cognitive dissonance may poke us in the side when we are in the midst of acting on our prejudices but conditioning and habits take a real strong jab to break through and see things as they actually are. 

Archetypical Alcoholic

In 1987 I came to believe I had alcoholism, my deep-seated twisted thinking now had a name and a cause, but it also had a solution. William James in his book The Varieties of Religious Experiences says that when one has a Mystical experience then what was heretofore unbelievable suddenly becomes apparent and operational to an individual.  (James, 1902) This follows what AA’s 12 step program of recovery espouses as well, in conversations with Carl Jung, AA’s co-founder Bill Wilson was told by Dr. Jung that he often tried to guide alcoholic patients to a form of religious self-discovery akin to what Bill W. describes in the book Alcoholics Anonymous as his “white-light” experience. In a letter to Bill Wilson (Jung, 1961) Dr. Jung said in reference to a former alcoholic patient of his that “His craving for alcohol was the equivalent, on a low level, of the spiritual thirst of our being for wholeness, expressed in medieval language: the union with God*”. Dr. Jung further enhanced his reference to God by saying, “The only right and legitimate way to such an experience is that it happens to you in reality and it can only happen to you when you walk on a path which leads you to higher understanding. You might be led to that goal by an act of grace or through a personal and honest contact with friends, or through a higher education of the mind beyond the confines of mere rationalism.”  When I first encountered AA I was swept up by the release of a lifetime of frustration and at once understood that I could be forgiven as well as forgive, and that I was a child of God and had a right to be here. I saw that I could make amends for harms done and that I would be able to live a good life free from the obsessions I had been a prisoner of for as long as I remembered. I had always felt different, alone and misunderstood. I had a name for that now, alcoholism. It fit perfectly. I got involved in AA and followed its precepts willingly and gladly. I did so for many years, but eventually my old thinking crept back in gradually and I sought out sordid places and companions to feed my deeper lusts and hid my desires lest they become known again. I left my wife before she discovered my indiscretions and soon was using drugs heavily again as well as indulging my lower nature with my new yet old obsessions. I did this for almost an entire year. Finally some very dear friends pulled me back from the brink of destruction and I once again recovered. I pieced together my life and rejoined AA with renewed vigor. I tried my best to set right my wrongs against my family and we achieved a livable arrangement, with a divorce and shared custody. Years went by unfettered by my old desires. I soon found myself facing a decision to use again, I had failed to enlarge my spiritual life or gain any new understandings of the lower nature of my desires and how they can manifest in my life and once again gain control. After another year of lying to everyone I knew and stealing drugs from one of my best friends I finally admitted my defeat again and set about to regain my lost passion for life and recovery. It was very slow going; I had broken so many promises to myself and others that I doubted my every thought. I had broken my own heart and those of others who had trusted me so many times that I was beginning to think that I was beyond the usual scope of AA recovery. As Joseph Campbell says in The Power of Myth “Original experience has not been interpreted for you, and so you’ve got to work out your life for yourself. Either you can take it or you can’t. You don’t have to go far off the interpreted path to find yourself in very difficult situations. The courage to face the trials and to bring a whole new body of possibilities into the field of interpreted experience for other people to experience – that is the hero’s deed”. (Campbell, 1988) I am almost 4 years into this recovery experience and found a lot of my former beliefs about God and spirituality were like trying to put on old pants that no longer fit or are even of a style I liked. I felt uneasy about examining them because it was comfortable and simple to just parrot the party line as I had always done in the past. As I grew in my education I was introduced to different voices and different perceptions that started me looking for a new way to approach a conception of a power greater than myself, which AA emphatically asserts is so necessary for the program to work, and I believe as well. I heard an AA historian quote Dr. Jung’s letter to Bill W at a convention I attended, but this time the words “…higher education of the mind beyond the confines of mere rationalism” stood out like a Hare Krishna at a Baptist revival.  In his book The Imprisoned Splendor Raynor Johnson says, “The insights of mystical experience cannot be commanded, but it would seem that where the mind can be brought into a state of poised stillness, the deeper self is able, and often willing, to reveal itself in varying measure”. (Johnson, 1953) I found that a stilled mind can indeed reveal much to an eager soul. Through awkward ventures into mindfulness and meditation I have found some solace and insight I have not known before. This life is fluid and dynamic, it is not static or stationary, it ebbs and flows with a rhythm that one only needs to match the beat of in order to find a measure of peace and stability with. My archetypes have less power than they once had but I do not underestimate the possibility that they can slip back into my life with the ease of an attractive old girlfriend who shows up on your doorstep drunk some lonely night wanting to score. (Green Day Self-Esteem, 1994) When I took a Buzzfeed quiz on “What is your Jungian Archetype” I got “The Child”…I like that. I’ll end with a quote from one of my favorite people...”It seems to me that the less I think I know, the more there is that is available for me to learn” (Clapper, 2015).

Beliefs are nothing to be proud of.

Believing something is not an accomplishment. I grew up thinking that beliefs are something to be proud of, but they’re really nothing but opinions one refuses to reconsider. Beliefs are easy. The stronger your beliefs are, the less open you are to growth and wisdom, because “strength of belief” is only the intensity with which you resist questioning yourself. As soon as you are proud of a belief, as soon as you think it adds something to who you are, then you’ve made it a part of your ego. Listen to any “die-hard” conservative or liberal talk about their deepest beliefs and you are listening to somebody who will never hear what you say on any matter that matters to them — unless you believe the same. It is gratifying to speak forcefully, it is gratifying to be agreed with, and this high is what the die-hards are chasing. Wherever there is a belief, there is a closed door. Take on the beliefs that stand up to your most honest, humble scrutiny, and never be afraid to lose them
(reprinted from..http://www.raptitude.com/2010/10/9-mind-bending-epiphanies-that-turned-my-world-upside-down)